Fast Zombies is CHEATING

Although I have already lost this argument  - Not from being wrong of cause, but to being lazy and unwilling to finish the argument off.  However I stand by my point that Zombies that can full out sprint (Non-stop), is unfair.

So to bore you further...

Now I'll clarify my view here: Should the increasingly (Un)thinkable occur, where the Zombie invasion occurs and a Zombie outbreak happens - maybe "Bath salts" will be the trigger and the world will go to crap and the dead walk and eat your flesh - In terms of  things being 'fair' and realistic (As fair and realistic as Zombies are) Zombies should not be able to flat out sprint.
To once again clarify I'm talking about Zombies or undead, not infected people... although an infectious disease is the more likely cause of a Zombie like state. For example the Zombies in the Walking Dead series are the preferable Zombie Scenario (And I'll get to my love of these Zombies later).

The type of infected I'm referring to here, that are not Zombies are such infected as in '28 whatevers later'. Firstly, this is a terrible film that I found boring and tedious (don't get me started on the sequel). These are infected and not Zombies, however the point still stands that the speed at which these buggers get up to is massively unfair and of cause unrealistic, So Not only has the world gone to shit and seemingly the entirety of the UK is in quarantine, with survivors being limited to a bar handful, but ALSO the bastards that can infect you and eat you  - which was never overly explained, they have rabies? or Rage, but they eat flesh? WTF? - Can sprint you down! they also don't seem to get tired, take the scene up the apartment building where the two main characters are heading towards a light source. Out of nowhere these infected sprint up a mountain of trolleys (which to be fair is a reasonable barricade), up maybe 16 floors and still catch up to the heels of the main character before they even reach safety. Come on, I'm a fairly slender guy who goes jogging often and I couldn't do that, Uzan Bolt couldn't do that! - if he was a infected in 28 dodgy effects later how, then screw it, fuck survival, just suicide.

This is the infected scenario which although more likely in how a virus will wipe us poor sods out, is extremely unfair, but that is only on a national scale. Zombification is often on a world wide pandemic scale where nearly all 6.6 billion of us are shuffling flesh eating rotting corpses and each landmass has a massive Zombie presence. It stands to reason in terms of what is fair and realistic that these Zombies are slow moving, because they are dead and rotting, so it would makes sense that they cannot move at the same speed as their bodies are breaking down!
Yes fresh Zombies should be able to move faster, but the environment and person that is Zombified should also effect the speed of them. Every single one should not be able to run you down, as the main fear of Zombies comes from being hopelessly alone as you slowly get surrounded with no escape.

This is why the Zombies in the Walking Dead Series are awesome and in my mind one of the best representation of Zombies so far, they are everywhere, move slowly except when you are a few feet away where they do this quickened shuffle - which shows their excitement and wanting to eat you - which is fair your outnumbered to hell, gunshots attract these things, and they don't stop moving forward in "herds" so your still screwed in terms of the worlds at its end but you have a chance to at least out run them and flee to a degree of safety, but as they don't stop following you no where is truly safe. However my only issue with them is that they can still climb ladders? which is another thing they shouldn't be able to do, as everything has its limits there has to be limits in the natural order of things, Zombies should not have the cognitive ability to climb up ladders...

Ramblings aside in terms of the balanced Zombie, beyond all the crap in films and games where everyone has a different origin story, there should be limits that balance the odds. Zombies should not be able to full out sprint after you, they should decompose as time passes by, weather and who is a Zombie should effect them (in terms of speed, and other such traits), they should not be able to climb ladders or pull them selves up and over something, stairs should pose comical issues for them, fire is a no-no (the feel no pain n00b).

This has turned into one of the longest blogs so I'll stop here, but always remember kids remove the head or destroy the brain is your only salvation when Zombies shuffle.

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Updates & Mothers + Social Networks = Blarg!

Hello chaps, female-chaps and Thai lady chaps, no I'm not joking I have checked my hits and there's one from Thailand... Woo Crossed the Atlantic or whatever the name of that body of water might be.

Sooo welcome to the Update portion of this blog, not to worry I will be bashing mothers in no time.

I apologise for missing another week without this, but I've a few things in the mix and free time approaching. Woo!
And lastly (See that was, what 12seconds?) at the bottom of each blog either in brackets '()' or hyphens '-' will be the title of the Next blog, not just to bring you my lovely readers back but also to act as an incentive for me, as I've 5? ish lining up behind this one, but without further a do ....

Mothers... Just... Mothers. If you didn't get it from my first blog/rant Mothers, there children and I just don't mix well. Obviously! should I meet a spouse who is willing to receive my love child Im sure my opinion of everyone else will remain the same, but her and my spawn will be stitched into my heart and I will beat anyone who places scorn upon them... BUT! That is not the case and I will carry on regardless...

My Issue this week is to do with the increase in people that I know or rather are 'friends' with on social networking sites giving birth or getting pregnant. Right off the bat I don't want people throwing hate at me, its nothing personal, Ive more than one social networking site and there are at least fours mothers/mothers to be on each... However! Now I'd like someone to explain a trend to me.
 Taking photographs of your new born child, or the Sonogram photos and then posting them on these sites? Repeatedly! I'm all for saying congratulations to new mothers, The First Time! but not the 12th or 20th time, it gets really boring and there is only so many 'cute' posses you can put babies in when they're that old and keep still keep people interested. It gets to a point where the posts end up shouted in your face. "LOOK WHAT I MADE!, LOOK ITS WEARING A PRETTY HAT!! ITS SO CUTE11692*exclamation mark*".

I'll admit when or rather if I have a kid I'll maybe post a thing-y once, maybe with picture.. jokingly saying, "The condom broke and after 9months *insert name here* has arrived kicking and screaming... and i couldn't be happier" followed by maybe a photo of the wife with child - thats the main issue really it wouldn't be so bad were it the baby... and someone else, anyone... even a baby and a dog is better then the kid on its own - after that one photo, you want to see my kid, come round and say hi, introduce yourself to the kid. Don't comment saying how sweet it is, I may have just spawned the next Renaissance but not even Albert Einstein couldn't read an hour after birth.

I get it though, you love your kid, there is nothing wrong with that, but do we need to see them in a new pose every five minutes?

It may be because I am old fashioned but  I don't want poopie photos of me when I was a kid knocking around the internet giving anyone the opportunity to see these photo, it could harm me either socially or politically in later life. ask yourself this, you got drunk in your past clearly, it might have been the cause for why you were conceived (hey it was for me) would you really want those photos to be seen by your children? or Bosses. It will be the same for them looking at yourself from when you were a baby gets boring after awhile.

Oh and I have laugh as most people who post a large amount of photos of their kids have their privacy settings really low, come on your just make things easier for the paedophiles.

(- Next Time : Fast Moving Zombies IS CHEATING -)