The World (Doesnt) End at Midnight

The ticking clock at your desk reads 23:59 and you watch as the final moments draw to an end, each second drips and oozes with the same slow witted pace as rush hour traffic. The moments slow and collide into one another. Breathe held tight as you prepare to embrace the cataclysm. 00:00 your last minute has arrived, 60 seconds to live, do you hug your lover, kiss your pets, or stand middle-fingers raised to great the red sky... 00:01, 00:02... 00:10? What’s this? Were the ancient Myan’s wrong? My God, we’re saved!

 Then some smart arse points out the Myan calendar would end at 11:10 here in the UK due to the time zone differences... oops, damn we only get to have breakfast and maybe some brunch, the Aussies get lunch, dinner, and some supper. Now that’s just not fair... right let’s start again then...

The ticking clock at your desk reads 11:09 and you watch as the final moments draw to an end, you’re bored now though, you were ready for the world to end at midnight, that girl who is now pregnant, because you just had to have unsafe sex didn’t you, and now you’ve got an itch, isn’t that a bugger? Went out with a bang, came back with some souvenirs, what time is it now? Crap! 11:12 I’ve missed the end of the apocalyp... Oh God damn it!

Yup, those gosh darn Myan’s fooled us again, the world won’t end on the 21^st, do you want to know why the Myan calendar ends on the 21^st, because Barry couldn’t be arsed to finish it off that day, I’ll do it tomorrow he said, I’ve already calculated 3000+ years. I’ll do the rest tomorrow, or Wednesday actually, got a date with Cindy from the sacrificing pits, like to stick something in her. What are the odds of me - the only person clever enough to work out these dates die after getting it on with the high priestess who sacrifices people for a day job.

So Friday will pass us by without incident, besides all those annoying tweets and statuses, and I will have a jolly 22^nd, and 23^rd Etc... Etc... Until the day I get booted down to hell and the river sticks, but that will hopefully be a number of decades away.

Unless the world realy does end Friday, and Oh won’t my face be red.

 First round’s on me in hell if I’m wrong too.