WARNING! This Food Has Expired!

Well much like a whore's period I once again fucked up and I'm late (again) so it is time for a quick wire hanger plunge to the lower abdomen and make everything kosher. (don't question the origin of that metaphor)

In human history we have been gathering food, mass producing it and selling it to others for consumption for years now, there are large buildings full of said produce, each neatly packed and displayed for the consumer. Gone is the time of the hunter gatherering male - with spear and net, his only currency was a pointy stick and his cashier was the stream or woods where he took the meat from. So its safe to say that we as a species have developed, this being obvious that you are now reading this typed assemblance of pixels on an electronic device.

Meaning that technology has also increased, to the point that it is in everything now; there is one-way glass, windows that close when it rains, laptop computers, internet sites for the ramblings of humans... and yet, you'd think by now they would have better warnings on stuff. Granted there are sirens and alarms that warn people, but no direct ways of stopping someone. For example, say you are like myself hungry and the only source of food in the fridge is a prawn salad (fuck salad by the way)... now it was out of date (hence the title), but it was in the fridge and unopened, and the point of a fridge is to keep food from going off right? Nope.

So I got food poisoning. Which baffled me, and got me thinking - despite all the warnings  and technology - stupid, ignorant fools like me eat out of date food, get sick and look retarded. there are smart coffee cups that react to the heat and can make images appear and disappear, glass that frosts over at the push of a button, usually crap! but food which has a decent warning that tells you it is out of date. Nope. Nothing.

I want packaged food not with the the amount of fat, salt or calories in it (because screw you calorie counters), instead I want food that tells you that it has expired. preferably in big block capital letters, over where any previous message was - this goes for milk too and any other food you have to smell whether of not it is off or not. The messages would read as:

 After a day out of date "I wouldn't recommend it" would appear.
2nd day "No Really, You'd Be Pushing it"
Then the 3rd + day "THROW THIS AWAY IF YOU WANT TO LIVE"

Warning messages like this might give us hungry fellows pause for thought, before we then grab that side of beer to wash it all down with.