Damn, Damnation!

After running somewhat low on finding witty and anger inducing things to bitch about - even though I do have two subject matters in the pipeline: The first being people cutting in line, which as soon as someone tries I'm sure I'll have enough rage built up to Zidane that arsehole into written oblivion. The second option is where I whine about poor people ... again! but I'll have to admit that is getting rather stale material, however much like the former it is one non-working, benefit stealing herp-derper to piss me off away from being done... So what I'm saying is when I eventual leave my house and head towards Asda/Wallmart the said rage will arise and I'll bore you thusly.

On the other hand I felt like listening to one of my friends this time, and might review a game - bye bye ladies - though screw anything "mainstream", not because I'm pretentious or anything, but because no doubt typing in the latest release into Google will result in a wave of legitimate and/or not so legitimate writers each trying to jump on the back of these games praying that the finger cramp was not actually in vain.

Thus I've decided when the preferable barrel is scraped bare I'll do a quick hop and skip to the local pre owned shop (because I'm tight like that) for any title I have never actually heard of, the cheaper the better, hoping to find some gem, some - dare I try and tie a Disney film into this - "diamond in the ruff".
The only problem with this though is a pretty plane as there is sound reason why these games aren't heard of. Its because they suck!

Oh blast, I've just given the ending away to my opinion on this game, but seeing how I'm already three paragraphs in so I have a feeling I should talk about the game I'm bitching about: Its called "Damnation". Put on a comical American cowboy accent and you can pretty much guess the era your living in, but with

Steam Punk example

a Steampunk twist. Something that not too many games have set on, the Steam punk interest is fairly high for what it is. In a nut shell it is almost always Earth but in a parallel universe where the use of electricity never took off instead technology is powered by Steam and fashion/society is stuck in the past (thus Steam-punk) what this results in is weaponry and cars zooming around with the aid of steal and steam, the fashion is stuck in the Elizabethan era mostly to give it that edgy look.

Damnation on the other hand is more cowboy based so you have your grizzled ex-general guy with a cowboy hat and steam punk six shooter. Well this is mostly surmised from the box art as the actual in game graphics are shocking. even sitting on top of my television set the graphics were still blurry, there's setting the mood through grimy and brownie settings and then there's taking a shotgun paint gun to a wide open space. Seeing as I didn't hear of this game before I took it merely on the box art, when in fact I should have been bent over by my phone company and looked up the game to see the synopsis and/or the rating that it received. nothing above a 4/10 or over 40% from game reviews, panning it into the earths core suggesting all others void it at all costs. looking at the wiki for it would also have helped "Damnation features large, open environments where a variety of acrobatics and Hollywood-action stunts are possible. Damnation features verticality which differentiates it from many other games in the genre" vertical meaning, you had better have a head for heights and be prepared to spend hours climbing up every few moments. This is something a many number of games have done recently, where you start on the bottom and the aim is to reach the summit but most give you a map marker, even some map to speak of. Not Damnation! Only verbal instructions so that if you forget what your meant to be looking for, such as a single flight of stairs in a soup of brown, your buggered.

This wouldn't have bothered me so much had there not been a long list of other such problems, from a player point of view the only usable weapon is the high powered rifle, every other weapon that is in abundance is awful, the only person that can use it is the AI and that's a bastard as the enemy is retarded in terms of tactics - they'll stand legs akimbo in an open window still soaking up hits, but they hit like trucks with no cover features either or shoulder switching means that's you can't take proper cover from any fire beyond running behind a wall and hope the enemy is on the right hand side opposed to the left unless you wish to become cheese.

The game tries it's best to set itself apart from its clear influences; the mono shaded HUD (heads up display), wide battle grounds and grungy style reeks of Gears of war, whilst its Free running sections also leave a metallic Prince of Persia taste in your mouth and slight hint of Assassin's creed with all that damned vertical climbing.

So I implore all those that read this, DO NOT BUY THIS GAME! If you see it in a store, burn it! My Gamer score is now tarnished by this monstrosity and also lead me to suffer from vertigo, something I've never had before - even suffering through Mirror's Edge never gave me that. However that's enough of this, I'm by no means a professional and need more suggestions otherwise I'll just have to ask a homeless person again, and those fellows aren't muses, fuckers charge for their insights.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Drake_Best <--- Suggest here

Fast Zombies is CHEATING

Although I have already lost this argument  - Not from being wrong of cause, but to being lazy and unwilling to finish the argument off.  However I stand by my point that Zombies that can full out sprint (Non-stop), is unfair.

So to bore you further...

Now I'll clarify my view here: Should the increasingly (Un)thinkable occur, where the Zombie invasion occurs and a Zombie outbreak happens - maybe "Bath salts" will be the trigger and the world will go to crap and the dead walk and eat your flesh - In terms of  things being 'fair' and realistic (As fair and realistic as Zombies are) Zombies should not be able to flat out sprint.
To once again clarify I'm talking about Zombies or undead, not infected people... although an infectious disease is the more likely cause of a Zombie like state. For example the Zombies in the Walking Dead series are the preferable Zombie Scenario (And I'll get to my love of these Zombies later).

The type of infected I'm referring to here, that are not Zombies are such infected as in '28 whatevers later'. Firstly, this is a terrible film that I found boring and tedious (don't get me started on the sequel). These are infected and not Zombies, however the point still stands that the speed at which these buggers get up to is massively unfair and of cause unrealistic, So Not only has the world gone to shit and seemingly the entirety of the UK is in quarantine, with survivors being limited to a bar handful, but ALSO the bastards that can infect you and eat you  - which was never overly explained, they have rabies? or Rage, but they eat flesh? WTF? - Can sprint you down! they also don't seem to get tired, take the scene up the apartment building where the two main characters are heading towards a light source. Out of nowhere these infected sprint up a mountain of trolleys (which to be fair is a reasonable barricade), up maybe 16 floors and still catch up to the heels of the main character before they even reach safety. Come on, I'm a fairly slender guy who goes jogging often and I couldn't do that, Uzan Bolt couldn't do that! - if he was a infected in 28 dodgy effects later how, then screw it, fuck survival, just suicide.

This is the infected scenario which although more likely in how a virus will wipe us poor sods out, is extremely unfair, but that is only on a national scale. Zombification is often on a world wide pandemic scale where nearly all 6.6 billion of us are shuffling flesh eating rotting corpses and each landmass has a massive Zombie presence. It stands to reason in terms of what is fair and realistic that these Zombies are slow moving, because they are dead and rotting, so it would makes sense that they cannot move at the same speed as their bodies are breaking down!
Yes fresh Zombies should be able to move faster, but the environment and person that is Zombified should also effect the speed of them. Every single one should not be able to run you down, as the main fear of Zombies comes from being hopelessly alone as you slowly get surrounded with no escape.

This is why the Zombies in the Walking Dead Series are awesome and in my mind one of the best representation of Zombies so far, they are everywhere, move slowly except when you are a few feet away where they do this quickened shuffle - which shows their excitement and wanting to eat you - which is fair your outnumbered to hell, gunshots attract these things, and they don't stop moving forward in "herds" so your still screwed in terms of the worlds at its end but you have a chance to at least out run them and flee to a degree of safety, but as they don't stop following you no where is truly safe. However my only issue with them is that they can still climb ladders? which is another thing they shouldn't be able to do, as everything has its limits there has to be limits in the natural order of things, Zombies should not have the cognitive ability to climb up ladders...

Ramblings aside in terms of the balanced Zombie, beyond all the crap in films and games where everyone has a different origin story, there should be limits that balance the odds. Zombies should not be able to full out sprint after you, they should decompose as time passes by, weather and who is a Zombie should effect them (in terms of speed, and other such traits), they should not be able to climb ladders or pull them selves up and over something, stairs should pose comical issues for them, fire is a no-no (the feel no pain n00b).

This has turned into one of the longest blogs so I'll stop here, but always remember kids remove the head or destroy the brain is your only salvation when Zombies shuffle.

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